Or, in slightly easier language, fear of long words. This is a fear that I am starting to exhibit, even before I am interviewed for a place on the Ed.D.
It is true that every sector has its jargon. Whether it's the ballcocks, flux and pipe-benders of plumbing or the JIT, kaizen and fishbone diagrams of lean management. Certainly, my background in food safety is full of jargon and also long words. Escherichia coli, Yersinia enterocolitica, and Staphylococcus aureus fair trip off my tongue, but to the uninitiated are complete gobbledegook.
But, combine the jargon with complex concepts from philosophers ranging back over 2000 years, and my heart starts to race a little. And not in the good way when you can't wait to get started on something. My biggest fear (well one of many) on starting the Ed.D is one of looking a fool because I don't know my Foucault from my elbow. Complex ideas which need to digested, understood and applied to new learning. O.M.G. as they say :-/
I'm going to have to do a lot of reading to get up to speed on these theories. Not only are the theories complex, but the literature uses words that I recognise but really don't understand. Soooo, reading with a dictionary close to hand, although a dictionary won't provide contextual understanding which is what I will really need. I think I will need to start some form of glossary, both for words and for ideas/theories. More gobbledegook! I really don't want to mix up my epistemology with an episiotomy. That could be very painful.
This evening, I shall start reading Adams, Cochrane and Dunne's Applying Theory to Educational Research - one of the required texts for a first module. I better get that dictionary...